High School Graduation Classmates

This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to share with anyone.
Putting my thoughts & feelings into words is never easy for me, and now is extra hard.
I've rewritten it three times, and finally condensed it to this.
...............................................

As the list grew longer and longer, my heart dropped lower and lower.
Two were dead from motorcycle accidents; one from aids; one from suicide; one from cancer.
We were a small class of about 30 graduates, why were so many taken so young?
And this isn't even the whole list, we didn't have time to go over all of them , and I knew there were others already on the list that we hadn't mentioned.
A girl I graduated with called me and after not being in touch for many years, we had a lot of catching up to do. When the catching up started the 'rollcall' of our fellow classmates, I was stunned.
All those kids with classic good looks, wholesome, clean-cut, good upbringing, intelligent, talented and full of excellent potential.

Gone. Wasted. Why? Why so young?

They had so much going for them.
They should be out there in the world getting rich & famous, saving the world from catastrophic ills, passing their gifts on down thru their children, dancing wild & free, living happily ever after.

I miss them all, I grieve for their loss.
I would love to see each one, one last time.

I was the loser of the bunch, and had been feeling so down about myself & how my life had turned out.
Always feeling ashamed when comparing myself to my former classmates.

Now I see I have much to be thankful for and that my life turned out better than I'd been thinking it had all these years. Now a new perspective, a new realization, grows within me.

No, I never went to Art School (but I still might someday);
No, I didn't get rich & famous, not even comfortably well off, or financially independent;
No, I haven't discovered a cure for anything;
No, I never reached those far off wonderful destinations;
No I'm not anywhere near perfect or totally pulled together...

But with guidance from God, I've always been in the right place at the right time,
leaving the world a better place than what I found it.

Maybe thats one of the greatest riches a person can hope to achieve.

Maybe, just maybe, I'm ok after all.

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